A Decision...At Last!

I've returned home from Harrisburg, and though my body is still exhausted, my spirit is so refreshed! I can't remember that last time I was so encouraged and...spiritually refreshed. The sessions were good and helpful, but the people that I met and spent time with really made the week. I met people of all ages, from all over the world, with all kinds of personalities, and gifts and talents, but who ALL truly desired to serve God and are willing to make sacrifices in obedience to Him. Between the other people in AMP (Assistant Missionary Program) and all the veteran missionaries and new appointees, I was surrounded all week by incredible people. There are so many stories I could tell, so many people I'd love to share with you..but of course at this point, you've probably seen the title of this post and are wondering when I'm going to get around to telling you about my decision. So here we go.

When I wrote that post last Sunday night after I arrived in Harrisburg, I had mostly made up my mind. (Sidenote: I did eventually get a roommate! Ironically, she was a girl I graduated from Moody with six weeks ago, and though we didn't know each other, we recognized each other immediately. How funny!) By the time we were each asked to share our testimonies on Monday, I could say that I was going to "Romania...I think". Which was of course followed by tears. Lots of tears.

The question everyone asks me, of course, is how I decided. If you ask me that in person, I'll probably start to cry. But even though I'm not exactly SURE how I've reached that decision...I have, and I'm happy to share it with you. My dilemma the last six weeks has been between Germany and Romania. Some of you knew that. If you talked to me much at all, you know that I love Germany. I love the country, I love the people, I love the team there. It seems like such a perfect fit in so many ways. I have come so close to choosing Germany, and in fact almost told everyone two weeks ago that I would be going to Germany. But I couldn't. I just couldn't quite do it. And so I began to reconsider Romania. During that time, I also got a call from the team leader in Romania officially inviting me to join their team. At the time, I wanted to push it out of my mind, but I couldn't. I could see a spot on that team for me, a hole I could fill, and I found myself EXCITED about the prospect of the ministries I could be involved in there, much to my surprise. Something had changed, and I realized that while going to Germany may not be wrong, God's best for me would be Romania.

To me, it honestly doesn't make sense in a lot of ways. My logical mind doesn't see how it fits together, and there are many questions in my mind about Romania that remain unanswered. I still cry when I talk about NOT going to Germany. But I realized this week that even though the desire of my heart is to return there, it isn't where God is leading me right now. God doesn't always lead us to our heart country. I heard that in the testimony of others this week, too. As one of the girls I met this week likes to say, our God is wild and unpredictable, and we can't put Him in a box.

When I entitled this blog "Steps of Faith", I didn't realize what exactly that would entail, but this is a bigger step than I anticipated. Maybe you're even reading this and thinking, "Are you sure, Kristie? It really sounds like Germany make more sense, and you love it so much!" But I AM sure. Despite the fact that I have doubted and wondered and worried in the last week about whether or not this is the right decision, God has very graciously confirmed, even in the last few days, that this is indeed His best. I can't even tell you how much strength that gives me. To know that regardless of what Romania holds, it IS His will for me, brings so much peace. I can't describe it as anything other than a peace that transcends all understanding. I haven't felt this confident that I am exactly where God wants me since I made the decision to go to Moody five years ago. And let me tell you, it is a great feeling!

I'll write again soon about what I'll be doing in Romania and what is next for me. Until then, be encouraged, friends. God is working in the lives of His people and it is exciting to not only OBSERVE, but also to be a part of it.

"I have set the LORD always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken." (Psalm 16:8)