A Decision...At Last!

I've returned home from Harrisburg, and though my body is still exhausted, my spirit is so refreshed! I can't remember that last time I was so encouraged and...spiritually refreshed. The sessions were good and helpful, but the people that I met and spent time with really made the week. I met people of all ages, from all over the world, with all kinds of personalities, and gifts and talents, but who ALL truly desired to serve God and are willing to make sacrifices in obedience to Him. Between the other people in AMP (Assistant Missionary Program) and all the veteran missionaries and new appointees, I was surrounded all week by incredible people. There are so many stories I could tell, so many people I'd love to share with you..but of course at this point, you've probably seen the title of this post and are wondering when I'm going to get around to telling you about my decision. So here we go.

When I wrote that post last Sunday night after I arrived in Harrisburg, I had mostly made up my mind. (Sidenote: I did eventually get a roommate! Ironically, she was a girl I graduated from Moody with six weeks ago, and though we didn't know each other, we recognized each other immediately. How funny!) By the time we were each asked to share our testimonies on Monday, I could say that I was going to "Romania...I think". Which was of course followed by tears. Lots of tears.

The question everyone asks me, of course, is how I decided. If you ask me that in person, I'll probably start to cry. But even though I'm not exactly SURE how I've reached that decision...I have, and I'm happy to share it with you. My dilemma the last six weeks has been between Germany and Romania. Some of you knew that. If you talked to me much at all, you know that I love Germany. I love the country, I love the people, I love the team there. It seems like such a perfect fit in so many ways. I have come so close to choosing Germany, and in fact almost told everyone two weeks ago that I would be going to Germany. But I couldn't. I just couldn't quite do it. And so I began to reconsider Romania. During that time, I also got a call from the team leader in Romania officially inviting me to join their team. At the time, I wanted to push it out of my mind, but I couldn't. I could see a spot on that team for me, a hole I could fill, and I found myself EXCITED about the prospect of the ministries I could be involved in there, much to my surprise. Something had changed, and I realized that while going to Germany may not be wrong, God's best for me would be Romania.

To me, it honestly doesn't make sense in a lot of ways. My logical mind doesn't see how it fits together, and there are many questions in my mind about Romania that remain unanswered. I still cry when I talk about NOT going to Germany. But I realized this week that even though the desire of my heart is to return there, it isn't where God is leading me right now. God doesn't always lead us to our heart country. I heard that in the testimony of others this week, too. As one of the girls I met this week likes to say, our God is wild and unpredictable, and we can't put Him in a box.

When I entitled this blog "Steps of Faith", I didn't realize what exactly that would entail, but this is a bigger step than I anticipated. Maybe you're even reading this and thinking, "Are you sure, Kristie? It really sounds like Germany make more sense, and you love it so much!" But I AM sure. Despite the fact that I have doubted and wondered and worried in the last week about whether or not this is the right decision, God has very graciously confirmed, even in the last few days, that this is indeed His best. I can't even tell you how much strength that gives me. To know that regardless of what Romania holds, it IS His will for me, brings so much peace. I can't describe it as anything other than a peace that transcends all understanding. I haven't felt this confident that I am exactly where God wants me since I made the decision to go to Moody five years ago. And let me tell you, it is a great feeling!

I'll write again soon about what I'll be doing in Romania and what is next for me. Until then, be encouraged, friends. God is working in the lives of His people and it is exciting to not only OBSERVE, but also to be a part of it.

"I have set the LORD always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken." (Psalm 16:8)

A "C" To Be Sure!

"You may bog down in the details of the decision-making process.
You can make major decisions, but may be criticized for the amount
of time you take to gather and analyze information. Although you
like to hear the opinions of your managers, you take risks when
you have facts that you can interpret and use to draw conclusions."

I'm officially in Harrisburg now, in a hotel room, waiting for all the fun to start tomorrow. Granted, finding my way to Harrisburg today was fun in and of itself, but...one plane, two trains, and a mini-van later, I'm where I'm supposed to be. (But I still don't have a roommate...I think I have one...maybe??)

The quote above is from a personality test that I had to take in preparation for this week. If you're familiar with the "DISC" personality test, I'm a high "C", and have the classic "Perfectionist Pattern", which is shocking to those of you who know me, I'm sure! :-) I found the assessment of my decision making process to be amusing and probably true. I DO like to have all my info, which is why I STILL don't have a decision. To be honest, I think I probably have already made it, but there is still that one little last piece of information I need to add. And so I can't quite say it. Sigh. Sometimes the logical side of me has a problem with faith.

All that said, I'm looking forward to a week (without Walgreens!)) where I can focus on THIS part of my life and really think and pray. I mentioned in my last post that I really just wanted a day away from everyone to think and pray, and while that definitely didn't happen last week, I think God DID answer that prayer by giving me today (and a very tardy roommate...or no roommate...we shall see!) and I'm thankful for it!

...So off I go, to gather and analyze more information! :-)

Busy Days and Unanswered Questions

My brother tells me that I need to update this or people will stop including me in their circle of blogs that they regularly check. I wonder how many people other than him even HAVE a circle of blogs that they regularly check, but I get his point. So here I am.

The last few weeks have been very full, and the next couple will be as well. Lots of work, and coffee with friends, and lesson plans. I like to be busy, but I'm realizing that I haven't left myself a whole lot of time to think, and suddenly the decision making deadline I gave myself is only a week away. It isn't that I haven't thought and prayed about it, but just because of the pace of life right now, most of my thought and prayer lately has been only in passing when I find a free minute at work. What I would love more than anything is to be able to take a day to myself, and just LEAVE and be by myself, away from everyone, to reflect and pray and listen for a long period of time. That isn't realistic, at least in the next week...but maybe I can find half a day! :-)

VBS at Immanuel starts on Monday, which will add to the madness, but I'm looking forward to it! I mean seriously, this is what I love and want to do! (I just look forward to the day I don't have to work at Walgreens and THEN go to VBS! :-)) I'm a "teacher" for the 5-7 year olds. My prayer has been that we will do this WELL and that the parents and kids will see that we think they are important because GOD thinks they are important. Please pray that we see whole families impacted by Christ's love through us and the truth of His Word.

I'm also thankful for the ways God is giving me opportunities to be involved while I'm home. It is hard to commit much without knowing how long I'll be home, and then realizing that I'll be traveling and raising support in the near future, but He keeps dropping things in my lap that encourage me, keep me busy, and help remind me how much I do love the church. Besides VBS, I also get to teach the Jr High class tomorrow, and sing at Grandpa's service at the retirement home. I'm teaching the Sr High girls in a few weeks too, and I'm also working on some curriculum for the children's ministry at IBC. These are all things I ENJOY, and despite the busy-ness, I really am thankful for the chance to be involved while I'm here.

I do leave a week from tomorrow (July 13th) for Harrisburg for my training with ABWE. I'm looking forward to a week off from work (woohoo!) and the chance to meet people, hear their stories....and learn whatever it is we need to learn! I still know very little about the whole thing, and a year ago that would have driven me nuts, but now...Eh, it'll all work out! :-)

So that's where I am these days. Thank you all for your encouragement and the reminders that you're praying for me. I'm very thankful for that, especially when everything looks so confusing and muddled. Please do pray for VBS this week, and the decision that I really would like to make soon. Also pray that I don't get so caught up in DOING (see above!) that I don't take time to listen and just be in His presence. God knows what He's doing. And sometimes He lets us see that, too! :-)